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Welcome to our site on dating, and all of the communications and miscommunications that occur seemingly endlessly. Communicating face to face is hard enough much of the time!
 
Technology should help communications but clearly in dating often does not! Just think of how easy it is to misread a text or email or facebook message, and then throw dating into the mix to make it worse! Yowser!
 
At least in person you have body language, tonality of voice, and far more for your “gut” to analyze. With electronic communications it is so much more difficult!
We concentrate on the Electronic or “E” part of dating here, although we cover other topics as well.
 
Take your shoes off, put your feet up, and stay a while!
 
We also love your questions and feedback.

Couple on beach at sunset

Dating and Texting

If you are dating, unless perhaps if you are in your 80s and even then (lots of octogenarians date BTW), you will need to understand the basics of texting. It’s actually pretty simple.

In the 35-40 and under age group, texting is rampant. It’s far more common than a normal phone call. In fact many under 35 year olds only make traditional phone calls to talk to their parents! If you are dating younger, absolutely keep that in mind.

Under 25 or maybe 30? They only text in general. That hot 40 or 50 year old (and many are – some people’s beauty and physical attractiveness actually peak around these ages) probably texts to communicate with their kids or grandkids.

In any case, if dating you need to understand texting. That’s the bottom line – just learn how to.

Texting is PERFECT for some communications, such as “I’m running 10 minutes late” – no need to interrupt someone with a phone call to tell them that, especially if perhaps they are sitting in a loud bar or quiet coffee shop waiting for your first or second date. There are other times when a phone call makes more sense than 5-10 texts going back and forth, like if making slightly complex date plans.

Remember that with texts there are no voice inflections or body language and they are therefore harder to interpret at times.

Also keep in mind that sometimes texts can get lost or overlooked. I almost had a fight with someone I was dating because I texted something time critical and they didn’t respond. My phone said it sent the text, their’s definitely didn’t receive it! If you do not get a reply it is reasonable to send a “?” or “??” or resend the entire text. My ex-wife also got quite upset when it turned out that her messages about the kids for the previous 24 hours were all lost due to technical reasons!

Of course phones go dead at the least convenient time and cell phone coverage is also spotty in many parts of the world, even in the US in some major cities (some inner Boston suburbs come to mind). So again, if someone doesn’t answer, it doesn’t necessarily mean they aren’t interested or didn’t appreciate your text!

In general, unless making concrete plans, do not be needy in needing a response to a text. Many texts may be appreciated but not responded to. My girlfriend would sometimes surprise me by saying a text of mine cheered her up or made her smile, when I had no reply or idea if she actually got it!

One quick trick – sometimes you can easily get someone’s number by asking them to text you a picture they just took and giving them your phone number. I always fairly quickly text a thank you back and often take it from there if interested.